It is confession time. I have a shady past. I am a fugitive from justice. When I started this blog, I decided to wait to tell exactly how I found my humans until once I passed beyond The Rim. That happened today on June 6, around 12:30 EDT. I’m not sure exactly, no one was watching the clock, all eyes were on me and giving me love. And Bo Jangles biscuits.
The cancer did not take me. Twenty-Six Months post diagnosis. I am pretty sure I’m tougher than cancer. The liver failure was taking its toll on my body and my heart was having a hard time keeping up. My hind legs were starting to swell and it was a mixture of the ascites making it too difficult for me to stand for long periods of time and my heart just running out of gas. My 12th birthday is in August. The lifespan for a greyhound is 12 to 14 but over the years, we have met many 10 year old greyhounds that looked 16 or 17. Quite honestly, until my liver started to fail, I looked amazing for even an 8 year old.
My humans brought me to the vet for a checkup on Thursday, mostly because of the edema in my legs and while we were there, got a spot on my 9th rib was checked. And it was cancer. Possibly a met from Osteosarcoma OR a primary chondrosarcoma since it was right where the cartilage and bone meet. Dr. Huff was worried because for the first time ever, I objected to xrays. A lot. We all looked at my bones and I really don’t care for looking at computer monitors but I listened. Dr. Huff and my human agreed that it had a moth eaten appearance. Its amazing how greyhound people get a little too good at reading Osteo xrays. They agreed to send it off to a radiologist.
As we went out to the car, I worked the crowd in the waiting room, even kissing the cat lovers because they needed to adore me. This is important because its one of my favorite things. My humans use a mixture of things for quality of life scale. Not just for knowing when the END IS NEAR but for just regular health and wellness issues. So my Three Favorite Things are:
1. PEEING ON ALL THE THINGS. Everything. People. Plants. Pillars. Posts. Pets. If it moves, I’ll pee on it when it holds still.
Nixon was here…
2. Go for a ride.
3. Meet new people and hounds. And say hello to old friends.
Lets be honest now. The past 6 months have been tough on me. I injured my wrist back in February and things have been crashing down around me ever since. I’m a fighter. It is not in my nature to back down. Ever. I am always thankful for each moment and live very much right now. Not now but RIGHT NOW so my above list wouldn’t matter if I had to have people carrying me around because I was in too much pain to walk. I would still find a way to live life to its fullest each and every day and pee on something new. That’s just who I am. We won’t mention the failed pee garden in my yard but other than that, I want to pee on something new every day. And cover all my old pmail too.
What I can’t do is live my life completely drugged up on opiates that make me taste colors. The first time my humans saw the wave of pain hit me was on Wednesday. I went outside to potty and I came in a different dog. It took about an hour for me to find my center and get comfortable again. My big, wonderful bed was no longer really comfy. Or the other beds in the house. I could fall asleep but it wasn’t my normal deep, wonderful sleep.
I woke up Friday morning feeling off. I had gained about 5 inches of fluid around my waist over night. The pressure from the fluid made me very uncomfortable in many ways. It was spreading my ribs, putting pressure on that tumor. I weighed almost 20 lbs more than I should and it hurt my bones and my muscles.
Then Friday night, I went outside to potty and the wave hit again. This time so bad I was screaming at times. We spent the night at the emergency vets, a trip I didn’t care for at all, and all it did was wind up hurting me more. I just could not get comfortable and couldn’t explain where it hurt. I was frustrated and decided to fix it my damn self. I wound up reinjuring everything Dr. Williams has worked so hard the past two months to fix up with her magic hands and by morning, everything hurt, I had fallen many times, and my legs were cut up. The vet tried to drain my abdomen but it didn’t help and might have made things worse. My belly just was hanging off of me, everything pulling, and I no longer wanted to be touched.
That being said, my humans and I had a talk. I showed them I still loved being alive and being here with them and no matter what, I would live in the right now. At dawn, we were in the backyard one last time and a neighbor cat was trespassing. I am sure it thought it was safe and had no idea I could still move that fast. I chased it away with authority. And then the UPS guy, I HATE THE BROWN TRUCK, showed up. What kind of morning was this?? I had to tell him to get lost too. And then I was tired. Too tired to give many kisses at first but so tired I couldn’t fall asleep. Everything felt wrong inside me.
So they cried and said I had been a wonderful friend and companion. That I had taught them so many things about life, themselves, and how to never take any moment for granted. We are not promised tomorrow and you must live now. The Daddy even asked for permission to write a guest blog post. Of course he can. My blog is not going to go away though. I still have stories to tell and so many memories of a life well lived that I do plan to continue to share even while I’m in heaven sending pennies to my humans.
When the vet came, I got to be in my favorite spot where I can see everything going on in the house. A promise had been made two years ago that when it was time for me to go, that we would celebrate this moment with a feast. It’s BO TIME! For years, I have been denied Bo Jangles biscuits because of my low carb diet. I was so focused on the biscuit, stealing the entire thing from the mommy’s hands, I didn’t even feel the prick. By the time I ate it all, I settled into a deep sleep into her arms. And then I shared my final thoughts with my humans as they held me.
“I have always been on borrowed time. From the first day you met me, I have cheated death. I never meant to bite that child but she shouldn’t have put her face in mine while I was asleep. I didn’t know any better and I didn’t know that my entire world as I knew it, with my lovely mini human, was going to end. I didn’t want to go away. I couldn’t believe I got a death sentence for one mistake. I didn’t mean to cause so many stitches. I didn’t mean to cause so much pain. And heart break. But it happened. Through just dumb luck, I managed to slip my collar, and with the help of many people in the Greyhound Underground Railroad, was placed someplace safe, far away from the law.
“And then you found me, broken, afraid, and not sure what was expected of me. Over the years, we have formed a pack that is just amazing. First with Kitty and now with Cookie. We have overcome so many barriers of communication that we all know what the other is thinking without much more than a look and a lick. If I had found any other family, my life would probably have ended 4 years ago. Or two years ago. But you listened when I spoke.
“I’ve been your Irondog who probably could have used some armor….I have had a lot of stitches and staples in my time haven’t I? I had my fall in the backyard and was paralyzed. An FCE they called it. Dr. Huff introduced us to laser therapy and my recovery was miraculous. And then we faced bone cancer together. And we beat it. And then the liver failure. Livers are important and mine has been through a lot. We didn’t beat that. But…I grew old. I have cheated Death many times and now I welcome it and go with Death on my own terms. But as long as you have known me, it always has been borrowed time.”